Maude's Recovery
by Womenreligiousfan
Summary: A candid look at Maude's history of Bipolar Disorder, then called Manic Depression, based on the 2 part episode Maude's Mood. How did she manage since geting the diognosis in the 50's and beyond. One of my many Stop Stigma stories.
1. Chapter 1

"Oh Dr. Lester, he thinks.. he thinks something is wrong with me, terribly wrong," the year was 1959 and Maude Claiborne was sitting in the psychiatrist's office discussing her husband's opinion of her.

Dr. Lester had been seeing Maude for months and thought something was wrong was not something that talk therapy alone could help. This was not one of the many upper middle class housewives who would be ok with a few mild tranquilizers and sleeping pills in addition to psychoanalysis, no he had a feeling this was something more serious. This wasn't just a woman who didn't want to be stuck at home all day as a happy housewife. He had a sinking feeling that this was a very strong, intelligent,opinionated woman who also had Manic-Depression, something he didn't think the mental health community had a good handle on, yet.

"Mrs. Claiborne are those medications helping at all?"

" Please call me Maude. Helping, well I suppose sometimes I feel I can sleep more, but sometimes it feels like sleep is unnecessary. There is so much to talk about with my likeminded new neighbor, Vera Greenblat. My other next door neighbor Agnes makes June Cleaver look liberal, a total bore…"

" Sleep is very important Maude. But using what I've given you long term can be dangerous."

" Then I won't use it. You know I don't feel like there is anything wrong with me at all. I feel wonderful, much better than that depression I had when I first started seeing you."

" Maude, I don't think that's necessarily a good thing. It's something unnatural, not healthy,perhaps a disorder. I don't know quite how to say this,but I think.. I don't think Miltown is what you need."

" A disorder, what? That's ridiculous!"

" Maude, you appear to have Manic Depression. I'm sorry. I'm very concerned that it may worsen."

"What, are you calling me crazy?"

"No, I.. I'm calling you possibly mentally ill. It's nothing you or your family did. It's not your fault. We don't know how this happens.. "

"But I feel so good, never felt better, please don't lock me away, Carol needs her mother, she's starting Senior High this fall. Chester can go ahead and divorce me, I don't care, who needs men, he's no improvement over my last husband,really."

"Maude, you are talking a mile a minute. I will do everything in my power, I promise you, hospitalization will be the last resort. My field is changing, young psychiatrists are working on what we call the deinstitutionalization movement. You deserve to live in the community. We are trying to make hospitalization harder these days."

" You are a very kind and caring man. The best psychiatrist I've ever had. I really trust you Dr. Lester. I just can't tell anyone. I mean Chester is dumb jock. My husband won't understand psychiatry."

" I understand,Maude. Perhaps we could discuss your relationship with him at the next appointment?"

"What the hell is going to happen to me? Do you mind cursing, if not I'm so sorry Doctor."

Dr. Lester wished he knew, if only lithium was approved by the FDA,if only he knew when or if this would develop into a full blown episode, if she'd have to be hospitalized or if a mild antipsychotic would be needed and come with bad side effects. He silently asked for prayers.

St. Jude, Mother Mary, St. Dympna, I know I'm not supposed to have favorite patients, but I do. I care for Maude, like a friend. Please help her. I'm afraid. Please help her illness stay under control. Help me help her.

"Well, Maude, this increased energy, decrease in sleep, how long has this been going on?"

" Oh I don't know, a week?"

"I see. So what have you been doing with all this energy?"

" Well besides chatting with Vera, I'm quite active in the League of Women Voters and the Westchester County Women of the Democratic Party, the Parent Teachers Association at Carol's school. It's just wonderful. Everyone tells me I should slow down, but I've actually been extremely productive you know."

" I can tell, this usually lasts for a bit and doesn't progress,it's called hypomania You may sink into a deep depression again too. You seem to be prone to highs and lows. Please do me a favor and read this brochure,call me if you feel overwhelmed, most importantly,Maude, you need to try to sleep. Please don't over do things either. I'm not sure if things will get severe, I don't want to scare you, but there are some warning signs of in there of what worsening symptoms could be."

" Oh alright, I promise, but only because I like you, you know. Well looks like I have to pick up Carol from school. I guess time flies even when you aren't having fun. I'll see you at our usual time next week."

" Call me if you need to,Maude."

"Of course, of course. See you later." Maude left the office humming Doris Day and feeling ecstatic. The often cynical and critical woman was on cloud nine.

When she got home, Chester was again at football practice. Sometimes she wondered if he loved coaching his students more than her. She browsed the pamphlet that talked about cycling moods, possible worsening symptoms,mild tranquilizers, possible hospitalization, ECT, the possibility of psychosis. And a short somewhat positive sentence about a new mood stabilizer being tested on patients called Lithium.

"God, if you do exist, if I have this, make my case a mild one, I hear Jesus supposedly helped Mary Magdalene, so maybe he can help me if I'm actually sick." She promptly hid the brochure from her family took her sleeping pill, and prayed she could get some sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

It was a beautiful summer day for a suburban pool party, although Maude would have rather gone to an event without Chester, or at least one indoors, like a diner party. Any event having to do with sports and he became a show off. Chester and Maude were in their host's guest bedroom getting ready for the pool.

" Now Chester, don't go around thinking you are an Olympic swimmer just because you are wearing those swim trunks."

" Always cutting me down Maude, never interested in what I do. Never supporting your husband's endeavors."

" That's called humour, Chester. If you can't take it, then you're no fun."

" No fun, no fun. I have fun, doing guy stuff."

" Is that really all you have fun with? It doesn't surprise me. What about your wife and your stepdaughter aren't we fun?"

" Well sure, but come on Maude, a man needs to have his own time with the guys too."

" I can't believe I'm hearing this again. Why did we ever get married?"

" You don't want me Maude, can't accept that I need to do my own thing?"

" Do it in moderation, Chester, moderation. Chester, I'm not supposed to have stress."

" Neither am I Maude and your constant judgment is driving me crazy."

" You want to see crazy, well I may be crazy if you don't stop telling me what to do."

" Well, if we are going to drive each other crazy, we should get a divorce."

Maude couldn't believe she was hearing this. She couldn't stand marriage right now, but what would she do as a divorcee?

" Fine, just fine. Being widowed and divorced have advantages you know, our house was Barney's and mine when he died. I'm a woman with her own house and I welcome your departure from it and I'm burning up this excess energy by going swimming." Maude stormed out of the room and walked past her hostess.

" Is everything alright Maude? It sounds horrible in there."

Chester oblivious to his host's presence opened the door and yelled," In 10 years from now, you'll probably be on your 4th husband."

"Oh dear!," remarked the party's host Jane.

Maude swam a few laps furiously, earning a few stares and was thankful she had her own key to the house. She walked back home, not sure what to feel. Her daughter was surprised to see her.

"Mother, what's wrong?"

" He means it this time, I think he really means it. I think Chester is leaving and wants a divorce."

" Oh no,really?"

" I think so Carol. I think so. Oh Carol, I'm so mad I could scream actually scream."

" I'm so sorry. Do you want to be alone?"

"Sit with me, I'm not sure what to do. Oh Carol, sit with me. Get Dr. Lester's number" Maude then began to sing the chorus of Que Sera,Sera she felt so many deep emotions including fear while singing, Whatever will be will be, the future's not ours to see.

As she lay in bed, Maude remembered that divorce law only permitted fault divorce.

"Oh dear God, who will believe me in court? He must not find the brochure Dr. Lester gave me."

Maude locked away her brochure and by some miracle,the sleeping pills worked that night.


	3. Chapter 3

Why am I afraid?, thought Maude. She remembered that since her high school days she had been a very strong woman. She had heard of some women who had divorced and the stigma it had carried, but she never knew any stereotype of the single woman as a spinster was always fresh in her mind, as well as the carefree, loose, man hungry woman divorcee. She didn't want to be either. She wanted to be seen as a woman with morals, brains, beauty, a possible career and a man who would support that. She didn't want someone nagging her constantly about being who she was. Her thoughts were racing and she couldn't sleep, especially after she heard the door slam.

"Maude, are you awake?" Chester's speech was slurred.

"Yes, I'm awake, as much as I hate your terrible habits, I still don't want you to be lying dead in some gutter."

" Well, I'm not dead, Maude, but stop yelling, it's unladylike."

" What am I supposed to do? Act like nothing has happened?"

" I'm going to sleep it off Maude, but then I'm packing tomorrow morning and then I'm leaving." Chester flopped on the couch.

" Don't you dare set foot it my room until you are sober."

"Stop it Maude," said Chester before falling asleep, so unaware that he didn't stir when Maude took off his shoes.

Carol had heard the door slam and had crept down the stairs when she heard silence.

" Mother, are you alright?"

" I'll be fine, Carol. Please go upstairs. You shouldn't have to see this. Oh Carol, I'm so sorry I married him." Maude was crying and held her daughter close.

" Oh Mother, you wanted what every other woman wants, a husband."

" I suppose you are right. All I want is to be loved, respected, listened to acknowledged for my brains and beauty."

" Me too, me too. I'll do whatever I can to help. I'll babysit more, make more of my own clothes."

" Oh Carol. We can make it on your father's money for a while. I don't want to think about it right now. Oh God. I could be poor again." The realization made Maude weep. At 18 she had married her first husband, Barney, Carol's were poor and in love. He worked his way to owning a small store, and they could afford to move to Tuckahoe, a growing, yet quiet suburb of New York City. Although gushing about her new appliances and vacuuming in high heels and pearls didn't appeal to her, she'd miss the bridge games, stimulating conversations in book club and other groups she was involved in,if she had to give up the house.

"Do you think grandma could help,?" Asked Carol.

" She'll blame me for marrying a drunk. I know she will."

" Oh, that would be horrible. She wouldn't do that would she?"

" God, if you exist, help me. Carol, you have your first day of school tomorrow. Go get some sleep. You are far too young to worry about this."

" I guess you're right. You hang in there, Mother." Carol gave gave her mother a hug goodnight and they both went to sleep, unsure of what the future would bring. Well, Carol was the only one who could sleep. Maude slept about 4 hours and spent the rest of the night thinking about divorce proceedings and being able to keep her house and suburban life.


End file.
